You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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