Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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