Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
