yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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