the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
