hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
