it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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