So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
