I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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