High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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