True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize