Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
