I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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