BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
