Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
