I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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