My first STD was from a foam party
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
