Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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