I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
