You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
