just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
