when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
