last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize