Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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