I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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