I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
