it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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