i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I forget how to act sober
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
