My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
