if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize