Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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