I have demons in me.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
