Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
