She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
