did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
