nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
