She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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