She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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