So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
