Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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