I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
