Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
