it wasn't lemon gatorade
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
