Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
