I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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