I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
