i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
COCAINE IS GR8
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
