it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
