i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
