you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
