I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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