dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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