I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They took my balls.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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