is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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