TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
