Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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