i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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