rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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