i just google imaged poop.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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