Don't you send me to vm
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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