I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize