I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
